Monday, September 21, 2015

Infertility has taught me a few things....


When I was younger I would hear a story here or there about infertility. I was naïve and figured it was a rare occurrence that people had a hard time getting pregnant. Now that I am older I realize it is so common. In fact the more I understand the process I realize that getting pregnant and having children is simply a miracle, and a blessing, one that our Heavenly Father has given to us. The trial of infertility is not fun and for pretty much all of it, it is terrible. I happen to be an optimist and I always try and look at the bright side of things. So as I am going through this I am trying to find the positives and there aren’t a whole lot but I will tell you a few of the things I have learned or things that have helped me get through this.
#1: My Heavenly Father and Savior, Jesus Christ LOVE ME. There are many times where I have just prayed to get through a day where I don’t feel the ache or pain. And there are days when my prayers are answered and his grace allows me a day without worry or aching. “Grace refers primarily to the divine help and strength we receive through the Atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ.”   He literally gives us power and strength to get through our trials when we no longer think we can. But we must do all that we can do, when we give it our all and it just isn’t enough he will complete us and make our trials lighter through the atonement .  I know that he answers my prayers, and while he may not answer it in the obvious way of helping us have children he answers them in small ways that allow me to continue to live my life. He will send me simple things to remind me that he is there and that he knows me and I just need to be patient until the timing is right.
#2:  At the end of this trial I will be a BETTER ME.  He allows us to go through trials because he knows we will come out of it stronger, better and closer to the person he needs us to become.  He also knows that we can get through it. He doesn't just let it come (shove us through the door and say good luck) he has given us prayer, others to answer those Prayers, the Holy Ghost, the comforter and last but not least the atonement of Jesus Christ, the knowledge that we aren't alone.  That he has been there and that at the end of it all we will be better and one day we might be able to be an answer to a prayer for someone else. I have many friends and family members who have been through this and have been there to offer me hugs or a shoulder to cry on. I am not alone and at some point I hope that I will be able to comfort those who are struggling and help them see some of the things that I have learned through this process.
#3: A simple SMILE carries great Power. I can’t tell you how many times I feel like I am not going to make it and a stranger or an acquaintance smiles at me and I remember that there is always hope, that there is always something to be happy for. That life is beautiful and while I may not have exactly what I want, I have exactly what I need. It also helps me realize that people see me, that I have not been forgotten.  It doesn’t seem like a smile would help a lot, but trust me when I say smiles have saved me.
So there you have it 3 things that I have learned as I have struggled with infertility. If you want to read an article that has helped me when it comes to patience, because believe me it doesn’t come easily, here is the link. This article was printed in the August 2015 LDS Ensign.
https://www.lds.org/ensign/2015/08/young-adults/patience-more-than-waiting?lang=eng

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

On this side: a post about Infertility

This post is a few weeks in the making.....

Kirk and I were married in December 2005. In 2009 we decided to make our family bigger and we had a healthy boy in November of that same year. Then in 2012 we had a beautiful baby girl. These children came to us so effortlessly that at the end 2013 when we decided we would like to have another child we thought it would happen the same way: quick, effortlessly, and basically perfect. Yet here we are mid 2015 without a new little one.  I have had a lot of thoughts about it lately as we have started with the doctor visits and the tests…


Now that I'm on this side
I've realized it's so much harder than you could ever guess
It causes pain of all kinds
You start to blame yourself, and ask what is wrong with me?
It is an emotional and mental battle one that you lose almost every month.
When I was on the other side
I use to say things like “Don't worry your time will come” or “Just be patient.”

Have you said this?

You might even think you are helping by saying “kids are a lot of work” or “you can do anything you guys want, any time you want to.”

Stop.
I hope you never have to understand the hope we feel every month or the devastation when the test is negative.
Or that you will never understand the longing or the feeling that something is missing, and that you are trying everything you can and still…nothing
I had no idea back on that side.
 But now that I'm on this side I know and I would do things differently.
 Say things like you are praying for them or that our Savior understands, and that the Atonement is there for them.
Listen and keep listening even when you've heard enough.
Don’t judge us when we hear that someone is pregnant and we probably cry, and need some time to ourselves.
It hurts.
But, don’t assume that we aren’t happy for them, we are extremely excited and happy for them Just sad that we can’t be pregnant too.
Never assume that if you get pregnant we will be mad, or won’t be happy for you.
Don’t skirt around the topic, just think about what you say before you do.
Don't say “at least you have kids already.”
Sometimes that makes it harder, because we know what we are missing.
 Be patient with us as we question.
Now that I'm on this side I am different
I understand the Heartache, the unspoken words, every morning waking up hoping that today something will be different.
It is an emotional Roller Coaster this thing called infertility.
I hope and pray that you never have to be on this side.

But if you are on this side….



Remember you are not alone.




**Disclaimer: Please don’t take offense these are just my thoughts and my opinions**

Friday, May 16, 2014

Busy Bags




I recently participated in a busy bag swap.
For those of you who don't know what that is let me explain.
Each person participating in the group picks a busy bag that they want to put together. A busy bag is basically a bag with an activity for children in it. Easy clean up, educational, fun, and grab and go. We had 25 participants in our swap. So each person made 25 of the same busy bag. Once you swap you come home with 25 different busy bags to entertain your children. 
I have loved these busy bags. Because of the time of the year and our move, my son currently isn't in preschool. That means that he has a lot of free time. These busy bags are great to pull out. I thought that I might share some of the bags and what they are.

Color Popsicles
Materials Needed: Popsicle Sticks, Colored Sharpies, Colored Felt, and Hot Glue

Cut out the felt into Popsicle shapes, make sure that you have two identical pieces. Glue the two pieces together with the hot glue, only around the edges and leave the bottom edge open. On a Popsicle stick, write with the corresponding sharpie the color name. 
This Busy bag is good for recognizing colors and matching the written color name with the color Popsicle.
It's also good to play "Popsicle stand" with. Use your imagination to describe flavors, what you do on a hot day, Favorite colors. Imagination Games are a great way to engage in dialog with your children
Enjoy!